So, for now, I'm just going to sit back, relax, and enjoy the... oh yeah. There's still two more months of Bush.
FUCK.
Perhaps it's just me, but I find it a little frightening to think of Bush and Co. having a two-month deadline to get all of their Evil Appointments and Molevolent Deeds in their Calendar of Horrendous Horrors done. The pressure is on to complete all of their evil plans. Things could get messy. And, you know, when you're running out of time, you skip some steps. I mean, sometimes, you forget to scrub the blood from between the tiles when you're in a rush to dump the bodies. And Karl Rove is a heavy, heavy man.
But, they say that no out-going administration has ever attempted to pass legislature in the last few months of office. Then again, they say you're not supposed to go off and invade another country all willy-nilly. Especially if you have a United Nations membereship card. I hear that if you invade a nation without Security Council authorization, the Secretary-General donates all of your UN Members Club points to a children's charity.
Again, cynicism. Bush ain't gonna do nothin'. At least, according to an article from CBC. Apparently, Bush explicitly told Obama that "he can count on complete co-operation as he makes the transition to the White House". Which of course doesn't sound at all like the quiet reassurance of an action film villian just before he hatches a scheme of treachery, floating fortresses, and cyborgs who murder. Just look at the photo of Bush, from the above article. Look at him, hiding around the corner.
You can't see his hands, but I bet he rubbing them menacingly. Oh yes, you can expect complete co-operation from me and my... friends. Heh heh. Complete co-operation... TO HELP YOU DIE!
I mean, as a cynic, I'm impressed that the Bush administration hasn't tried to pull off some third-term "time of war" bullshit. I suppose at this point, that would have been a bit of a stretch. Then again, so were the justifications for the Iraq war.
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I mean, if Bush were the prime minister of Canada, he could have had all the terms he wanted, with added sprinkles. That seriously makes me question the merits of our infinite term policy. Not that a Bush-esque prime minister of Canada would have much impact on the world. Still, I'm starting to think that a two-term limit isn't such a bad idea. As it stands, Stephen Harper can run for as many terms as he wants, provided that he at least calls an election every five years. And he could probably manage a few terms, as long as he or his party continues on with its current agenda of just staying out of trouble.
The Conservative Party has, for the most part, avoided any enduring controversies and it seems to keep them in power. Doing nothing is totally politically advantageous. When I was a kid, I got a tonne of praise for being "such a good boy" just because I sat quietly. I didn't do anything to deserve such a prestigeous title (one which was only handed down by the elderly after taking to their Secret Geriatric Counsels). I just sat there and tried to resist farting or yanking the housecat's tail.
This strategy works in politics, too. The last federal election seemd to prove this. All the Conservatives have really done in the last few years is cut spending. Cuts, cuts, and more cuts. They've neutered our social programs. But, generally, people either forget cuts or accept them (sometimes gladly). And Harper has the badge of honour of being the first prime minister to cut the GST (by 2%) since its implementation by Mulroney in the early 90s. He can boast about that for a long fucking time. And it TEARS ME UP INSIDE!
But, despite the fact that we might have Harper ad naseum, Canadians seem a-glee about Barack Obama. I can totally see why everyone wants to come in their pants over this guy. He's fucking awesome. He's progressive. He's charismatic. He's well-spoken. He's also not 100 fucking years old like many of the last century's presidents.
But, this is again where the cynicism in me comes out and I think this time I'm right.
All the election fever and Barack-the-Vote pun-festivals really got everyone excited. And it completely exploded when Obama was announced the winner. I could tell that everyone had this great feeling, like the days to come would be sunny and if there were clouds, they would rain Skittles and Jesus would come down and hand out Long Island iced teas and toss flower garlands around everyone's necks.
But, let me give you a Canadian reference again. Liberal Dalton McGuinty was elected the premier of Ontario after years and years of premier Mike Harris's Conservative Party fucktardary. But, when McGuinty started his first day, he had a hard time getting used to his new office, since the former occupents had forgotten to take their FUCKING $5.6 BILLION DEFICIT THAT THEY DIDN'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT!
Like, Jesus! How did we not come together as one people and disembowel Mike Harris on Parliament Hill? No, instead we went the exact opposite way and shook our angry fists at McGuinty every time he said something like "Hydro is going up" or "eyewear is being cut out of Ontario healthcare".
Astonishingly, McGuinty was re-elected. But Barack Obama's plate is a lot more full, with a lot of caked-on cheese to scrape off from the last guy. Meanwhile, Obama's supporters seem to think he's Superman. Once he takes office, surely things will get better overnight.
But, politics are never a quick-fix and there is no quick-fix to politics. Look at how long it took just to get a black president in office. It's not likely that Obama will get all the things done he wants to accomplish, at least not in his first term. He's gonna have to soak his plate for a while before he can clean it off (that's right, I've continued with the dirty plate analogy and I am aware that it's lame—shut your goddamn mouth; it's my posting).
His two major quests seem to be health care and getting American troops out of Iraq. Health care will likely be the easist to tackle, because pulling out of Iraq will prove harder than most people realize. Just ask Nixon, who practically based his whole '68 campaign on the promise to pull troops out of Vietnam. Yeah, that turned out great. Only took another four years.
Still, Nixon got his second term. And according to a recent article, the US military is already in the works of developing swift Iraq exit strategy, definitely giving Obama some of the means to follow through with his promise. But, military logistics aside, there's obviously more to bringing the troops back home than plotting out a route on Google and making sure the cooler's full. A lot of this is going to be up to the Iraqi government and how prepared their own people are.
Even if things don't totally fuck up for Obama and he gets to do some good things (and hopefully get his second term), my cynical self still tells me that he's a human being and he's a politician. He's not Superman. He's not otherworldly. He will play the political game, like everyone else. Like Nixon. In fact his first major policy initiative deals with something that Nixon could appreciate: college football. Yes, of all the things Obama could set as a first priority, he's making sure to be on top of college football reform, which is, as reported by Slate magazine, "an attempt by Obama to bathe himself in college football's populist glow". Ah, playing political games.
Much like Stephen Harper did when he proclaimed his love of hockey. But, I guess Harper did get his re-election.
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