Should I use "Arial" or "Trebuchet"?

Geese!

There's a goose staring at me. It’s quite comical. It’s like being stared at by a hacky sack on a short length of PVC hose. With beady eyes. And a beak.

This particular sack on a hose is a Canada goose. There’s a whole flock of them just kind of... sitting there. Being geese. Likely thinking about which public sidewalk they're going to drop their little green sausages on for you to try and avoid. They like to keep us on our toes.

Thinking about it, Canada geese are a strange-looking bunch. For geese, that is. From what I know about animals (about everything you learn up to grade four) is that an animals physical appearance is part of how it survives, how it evades predators, how it stalks its own prey. Evolution and what-not. Zebras are striped to hide in grass, tabbys are tawny to blend in with their autumn environment, toads are brown so that you'll accidently step on them (they're suicidal, so it all works out), etc.

This model in no way explains to me the Canada goose's white chin-strap. How the hell is that thing keeping you alive? If humans involved to have blue ears, then, well... we'd have blue ears. It would certainly make us more noticeable.

Tiger 1: "I'm going to eat that monkey."
Tiger 2: "... wait, get a load of that one!"
Tiger 1: "Wow... that monkey's got... blue ears?"
Tiger 2: "Dude, I'm eating that one."

Just like that damn chin-strap sure is noticeable. Dammit, I want to fill it in with a black permanent marker. That'd show it to have distinctive markings. Or maybe I'll be a real asshole about it. Maybe I'll colour it in pink. In fact, I’ll give the whole flock different coloured chin-straps. All the colours of the rainbow!

There. Now they’re distinctive. And angry. I have angered a flock of geese with my desire to turn them into Skittles.

This one in particular looks very angry. He’s a very angry, brooding goose. Maybe I should colour him in all black. He can be a Goth-goose. A Gooth. We can sit out front of the public library, smoke cigarettes, and listen to Bauhaus. The library will be filled with the mournful honks of the Canada Gooth. We’ll freak out the kids and irritate the elderly.

I’m sure colouring Canada geese is in some way illegal in this province. But, you don’t know until you try!

Goose vandalism. Only you can prevent it.