Bargain Winkers 6, Pathetic Phallusy Trailer

When you've had something for a long time, you expect to have it forever. Maybe you take it for granted a little bit. Maybe you even take advantage of it. You never expect it to... you know... literally burst into flames.

Like my XBox, which became a smokey mess of tragedy last week.

I live with my girlfriend, Caity, and we kept the older XBox in the bedroom for late-night Halo co-ops and Grand Theft Auto rampages. I was up one night playing Vice City (my favourite in the whole series), when I heard a POP!, followed by a blank TV screen and a poof a smoke and the distinct smell of burning plastic.

So I kinda yelled out "Oh, shit!" and inevitably Caity woke up to a bedroom filled with the smoke of my fried XBox.

A week later, the smell of burning plastic still lingering on pretty much everything in the bedroom, Caity and I decide to get a cheap DVD player to replace my dead friend. We went to a store in downtown Kitchener called The Bargain Store, where their store sign proudly declares everything to be a "BARGAIN! BARGAIN! BARGAIN!" We grabbed a $30 DVD player, five bags of Rockets, and a box of Dunkaraoos... because they were a bargain.

And the frosting had rainbow sprinkles.

When we got home, Caity wanted to hook up the DVD player right away, making sure everything works. When she opened the disc tray, she found what was clearly a bonus prize bestowed upon us by The Bargain Bargain Bargain Store for perusing their fine shop: a used copy of Winkers 6.

What is Winkers 6, you might ask? Well, what I gather from the image on the disc, it is the harrowing tale of at least two women's struggle to put objects up their rectal region, possibly both animate and inanimate, for the purposes of sexual gratification (or at least for the viewers manual gratification).

In the spirit of giving, we tried to give our prize to our roomate, Emily, but the picture on the disc of one slutty ho spreading the ass cheeks of her skanky bitch apparently did not appeal to her pornographic tastes, although she left us to enjoy it all ourselves.

Tip: Where do porno-creeps get their hardware? The Bargain Bargain Bargain Bargain Bargain Store. Check if box has been opened and possibly returned.

Speaking of tasteful porn, here's a trailer for Pathetic Phallusy (YouTube) that never got uploaded:



It was supposed to go up on the Newgrounds Alphas page, but Alphas hasn't been working for a month now, with no sign of being fixed anytime soon and Pathetic Phallusy having been long-since completed and uploaded for the world. Yes, it is indeed a huge pile of assfuck. Perhaps a big enough pile to make Winkers 7.